Insufficiently pacified

Yeh, I'm posting My Chemical romance. I feel almost embarased, like some 15 year old girl with black shag bands, razor blade scars and GCSE coursework.
Fuck it, I don't care, it's a good tune.
Skipped yesterdays lecture, too much effort to get out of bed, too much energy to get dressed, too much time to fix my face.
Allow it.
Start as you mean to go on. I planned to read but I didn't, I just fucked around all day.
Isn't that fucking smart?

So last night me and my friend, met up with a bi-polar, tee-total breakdancer we met in Stockholm. V. odd.Last night I went with my friend to Madame Jojo's to see a random break dancer we met in Stockholm.
Guy is doing things I did not know could be done.
I'm like Woah. Fuck me, this guy is more flexible than ME.
Friend is like HAHA
Everything is going well. I'm with a really good friend of mine, I'm feeling in love with my city, in love with my friend, in love with my life. I'm in Soho feeling pretty.

Everything is well, all is fine, and suddenly I'm sad. This all encompassing sadness, again. It's on and off, up and down. I said I was sufficiently pacified before, clearly not. This isn't fun anymore, I just want to go home. Urgh, such a kill joy.

I'm pretty sober, and it occurs to me that I'd be far happier with alcohol. Ha! Wtf Holly, bad idea. I don't need alcohol to socialise with people, I'm pretty outgoing, but I SWEAR at this minute, the longer I just stand here, I don't wanna laugh, or dance or talk or anything. I just feel completely flat. Again.  Alcohol PLEASE?

It's up and down, on and off, I can be happy for ages, and then out of nowhere it comes. I don't know why, the only thing that seems to cheer me up is alcohol, and that's really not a good thing to start.

Anyway, I just pacified myself by eating some noodles.

I have so little optimism right now, don't even know why. God, this is so fucking boring.

It's like Newton's laws of motion; everything has an equal and opposite effect.  If I'm happy I must be sad, so pointless.   I think there's something wrong with my head, I'm up and down so much, happy, sad, if you knew me you'd think I was pretty normal.

I've felt really skinny and pretty for the last week or so, like it's been really fucking odd.  Then last night I remembered I'm really not, at all.  And then I just felt all fat and gross, like a panda and urgh wtf man why am I here?

On a different note, I passed outside the LSE union bar, they seemed to be having a pyjama party.  Strange; they weren't all spacky Asian freshies.  STRANGE TIMES.  And Gosh how conceited is LSE; they have mini statues of that bloody elephant everywhere.   Wtf man.  >__<